ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The southern hemisphere’s largest open-air sewer is enjoying looking like one for a change as Sydney’s iconic harbour has been turned a shade of brown due to flood runoff.

While Brisbane’s fabled Brown Snake is openly lauded by those who choose to live in the nation’s greatest city, the rat people of Sydney who crawl over themselves to get ahead are disappointed to see their only asset turned literally to shit.

In addition to the harbour turning brown, Sydney also morphed into the River City by developing a nightlife and live music scene.

One of the rats spoke to The Advocate a short time ago through his rat mouth and they said they’re just happy to have some life back in the fucking place.

“Oh yeah, the harbour is only enjoyed by the people who live near it. The rich people,” he said.

“So I couldn’t give a fuck about it. I think it’s funny that it’s full of soil and runny labrador shit. But what’s great about being Brisbane for the day is that there’s something to do when the sun goes down. There’s gigs to go to. The old people stay inside. It’s also warm enough to not bring a fucking jacket with you for 6 months of the year,”

“We haven’t had the same Lord Mayor since 2001. There’s new ideas in Sydney for the first time. Being Brisbane for a day is great. I can only wish that we were Brisbane all year round. Fuck the harbour.”

More to come.


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