ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prime Minister Scott Morrison told the media this morning in Canberra that his heart breaks and it goes out to the people of Western NSW but there’s nothing he can do for them because there’s nothing in it for him.

The Bloke-In-Chief spoke candidly to reporters and even removed his glasses for a second as he spoke.

“My heart,” he said.

“It breaks for the people of Wilcannia. If only the NSW Government did something earlier. If only Gladys and John took their jobs seriously enough to look after all their constituents, not just the ones who enjoy the sea breeze in Sydney,”

“Personally, I find the fact that John Barilaro lives in Elizabeth Bay. He makes his department live in Queanbeyan, the anus of Canberra. The bloated appendix if you will. The man’s a hypocrite. It’s all his fault, what’s happened in Western NSW. He’d only go to far-western communities if someone carried him on their back like a baby. Anyway, I’m getting further away from the point,”

“I would do something about the situation in Western NSW but at the end of the day, there’s really nothing in it for me personally. There’s actually no point in me doing anything because, like, it’s not going to make my life better or worse. It might make John Barilaro’s life worse if he continues to pass the buck and shift blame for the fuck up that he’s obviously caused so maybe he should be the one to do something?”

“Look, it’s just a thought at this stage. OK, next question.”

More to come.


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