ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As the walls begin to fall in around the New South Wales premier Gladys Berejiklian, the Prime Minister has offered some sage advice in how to deal with the world when it won’t leave you alone.

“You just disappear completely,” he said.

“And after about a week, you turn up to cut a ribbon and the world keeps on turning. By that stage, someone else has dropped the ball and the media is hounding them,”

“Disappearing completely lets you start all over again. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this trick earlier.”

The news comes as Berejiklian told the people of her state that her government couldn’t really be fucked anymore doing the 11am pressers because it was pretty much her telling a media scrum that a lazy thousand or so caught the bug.

But then the Premier turned up yesterday, despite telling people she wouldn’t, which confused the people who are still interested in this virus’ spread through Sydney.

But as questions surrounding her involvement in ongoing ICAC investigations, that’s when the Prime Minister called.

“You don’t have to answer questions you don’t want to, we don’t live in CHINA!” said Morrison.

“When they ask you something like the ICAC stuff, just waffle for a few seconds then get the fuck out of there. If you must, just flat out lie to them. Who cares? It’s not like they’re going to do about it. Honestly. Just don’t speak to the media. When you do that, all your problems go away for a few days,”

“Just imagine you’re floating down the Liffey. I’m not here. This isn’t happening. I’m not here. I’m not here.”

More to come.


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