ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota man who was thrown into hotel quarantine for declaring on his Queensland Border Pass that he’d been in the Cameron Corner Business District the week before said he’s getting his $3300 worth, that’s for sure.

“It’s ridiculous,” explained Gideon Clarke, a French Quarter capital debt market advisor.

He spoke to The Advocate via Zoom this afternoon.

“I’m a victim of simply being too honest on my border declaration. I went to Cameron Corner to see some clients and stepped over into NSW to sign some contracts and shake some hands. We had lunch in Queensland, did the deal in New South Wales, and had a drink in South Australia. It’s just what we do in this part of the world but you think the people in Brisbane and Sydney understand?”

“Anyway, so they threw me in the Betoota Hilton! The nice one! [laughs] I’m not talking about the correctional facility. Terrible. For what? For taking two steps into New South Wales? I asked them to self-isolate for 14 days back at my flat but some public servant in Brisbane said that wasn’t good enough. Have they ever been to Betoota?”

“I live in a five-bedroom federation-revival on Lake Betoota, not some grey bowl of Meriton mash potato. It’s sad.”

Gideon forced himself to smile.

“So to make sure I get the full value out of this little room, I treat myself to a nude dart on the couch. It’s the height of luxury. Nude darts. Nude in the spa, smoking a cigarette. Nude in bed, smoking like a Persian prince,”

“I only have a leather couch fit for the Virgin Lounge here but it’ll have to do,”

“To Valhalla, gentleman.”

More to com.


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