ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Our town’s local member turned up at his former boss’ place this morning with a genuine Chinchilla watermelon in an effort to make peace with him over some past unpleasantness.

Michael McCormack told reporters in Canberra today that he was “shocked” to see Agriculture Minister David Littleproud in the driveway of his Kingston apartment block holding a medium-sized watermelon.

“I though, ‘Jesus Christ, that’s David Littleproud – and he’s holding a watermelon’, which I thought he was going to throw through the windscreen of my brand new Hyundai Venue. I’ve waited six months for it to turn up at the dealership in Wagga. The last thing I needed was for David to ruin it in a prank gone wrong,” said Michael.

“But he gestured for me to stop. So I pulled up and asked him why he was standing in my driveway with a watermelon. Now, this is where it gets weird,”

“So apparently, offering a watermelon to someone is akin to an olive brand in the town of Chinchilla, so to speak. David is from Chinchilla so he’s into his melons in a big way. David said he had the melon brought down on the plane today, so it’s fresher than Clive Palmer’s nappy,”

“He’s a bit of a space cadet, I guess we all are in the Nats, in our own way. But I appreciated the gesture. I asked him what he was sorry about and he just nodded knowingly.”

Mr Littleproud’s Office was able to confirm the gift-giving and said David offered Michael the genuine Chinchilla watermelon to show that he was sorry for playing a part in him being deposed as party leader.

“We now understand that things probably would’ve been better had we stuck with Michael,” his office said in a short statement made to The Advocate.

“While Barnaby continues to have full support, until after the election, we are having a meeting at 3pm where Barnaby will be tied to a coat rack and Mark Coulton will work his body over with his bare fists while Andrew Gee provides handclaps.”

More to come.


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