ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Brisbane construction worker is confident that his sudden cold is just a cold because the Sydney Sneeze hates the heat.

Speaking to The Advocate via telephone this morning, Wal Hartwell explained that despite the so-called Southern Flu getting a foothold in the River City, the sudden cough he’s developed and loss of taste is probably innocuous and he doesn’t need to trek it into the city to get tested.

“Nah, mate,” he prefaced.

“We don’t have that shit up here. The virus hates the heat. It’s only going bananas in Sydney because it’s kinda cold down there at the moment. Give it a month and they’ll be back to work. It tore through Melbourne because it’s a freezing cold shithole [laughs] Nah, it’s OK down there, I guess. One of my boys lives down there,”

“But yeah, mate. I haven’t got the fucken time to sit in a car for seven hours somewhere in the city. I live out in the bay, mate. Miles away from this shit. There’s absolutely no way I have this bug,”

“I mean, this dopey fucking government got the Olympics nobody wanted because the state is flat broke. Queensland is so fucken broke, they delayed the release of the budget until after the election. Now, when the 10-year government bonds mature, we have to pay for the Olympics and pay the bonds back. We’re fucked mate, fucking fucked,”

“Anyway, mate. Better get back to it. These apartments won’t build themselves.”

The Advocate reached out to the Queensland Government for comment but they explained a reply would take 7-10 working days.

More to come.


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