ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Federal Government has officially added people over 50 who are waiting for the young person’s jab to the endangered species list as they’ll probably die waiting.

Modelling that the government is refusing the share has shown that Australians who make up this cohort are going to perish in a manner that will both inflict serious harm on the health system and the taxpayer.

Speaking today in Canberra, the Prime Minister Scott Morrison spoke directly to the societal chaff that makes up people over 50 who shun the AstroZucchini.

“If you are over 50 and are waiting for the beautiful people’s jab, then you’re an endangered species because we’re giving it to young people then ripping the national Band Aid off,” said Scott Morrison.

“My government has made a high quality and safe available to you for nearly a year now. If you turn your nose up at the AstroZucchini and say you’re waiting for the Michelle Pfeiffer, show the country how tough you are by beating the virus at home. Stay the fuck out of my hospitals, stay the fuck away from my taxpayers doing the right thing,”

“You’ve bought the ticket, now take the ride. Hospitals are for lifters, not leaners. If you have a go, you’ll get a bed. If you didn’t have a go, just fuck off down the paddock. Downwind preferably,”

The Prime Minister then paused.

“I’m sorry, I’m a little worked up today. I just can’t believe that would rat on my Sydney trip like that. I thought Murdoch and I were mates. My whole world has been turned upside down.”

More to come.


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