As was expected, Scotty From Marketing has refused to apologise for anyone who might’ve taken issue with the fact that he was able to flagrantly bounce in between closed borders to spend some time with his family on Father’s day.

Instead, Scotty has lost his temper and berated the media like he does every time he is under pressure for doing something fucking stupid.

The Prime Minister is under fire after it was revealed that he flew from Canberra to Sydney and back over the weekend, which allowed him to see his family on Father’s Day, after he was given an exemption to return.

Today, while attempting to talk about Womens Safety or Afghanistan or some other shit that he has no interest in because it does not further his career prospects in any way at all, it seems Scotty was unable to avoid question about the why he felt that his Father’s Day was more important than the 15 million people currently in lockdown and unable to see their family.

“Well…” he began bumbling.

“I’ve always said if you have a go, you get a go”

“And for me… That’s certainly been the case. Everything I have received in life I have worked for”

“From my humble beginnings as the son of a local councillor in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs… To my public education at Sydney’s biggest state school… I’ve experienced what it’s like the be the little guy”

“I know what it’s like the be that guy that doesn’t get to see his family on fathers day. But I’m not that guy anymore. Because I had a go”

“and if you have a go you get a go. Anyone jealous of the delightful weekend I just had… You really need to steer away from the politics of envy”

The press conference stood still in a shocked silence as they watched Scotty From Marketing take his flower in the pavement narrative to new heights.

“But, how does it make it okay that you got to spend fathers day interstate and nobody else did?” asked one journalist.

“Oh for goodness sake!!!” shouted Scotty, finally snapping at the most gentle requests for accountability”

“If you want to spend Fathers day with your kids, then you should have done what I did and spent three decades bouncing between highly bureaucratic government agencies in jobs that your mates set you up with!”

“When will you plebs learn! There’s different rules for underperforming career Politicians”


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