ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian fronted the media this morning in the Harbour City to placate the denizens of Sydney after it became apparent this latest outbreak was due to a failure of government policy.

Flanked by a bespectacled breakfast sausage in a suit who claimed to be Health Minister and some long suffering public health expert, Gladys told the people of New South Wales to relax.

“Whatever went wrong here, the people of New South Wales can rest assured that no public servant will take responsibility for their failures of suffer the consequences of their ineptitude,” she said.

“We will find out what went wrong here, blame the victim and move on collectively as a state. This man in Bondi who spread this thing all over will feel the full force of the law. He will have his face splashed all over the front pages of every redtop from Bega to Byron to Buronga to Bourke. He will suffer,”

“But in terms of government, we don’t make mistakes. We don’t accept responsibility. We ignore the fact the leader of the NSW National Party has been up to no good. We’re building the NSW of tomorrow.”

When asked why nobody in the government was prepared to take responsibility for this latest outbreak, the Premier laughed.

“The Ruby Princess? Remember her? Brad Hazzard and Kerry Chant gave that the green light and dozens of people all over Australia died as a direct cause of the decisions they made. They’re still here standing with me,” she giggled.

“So yeah, jog on. Any more stupid questions?”

More to come.


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