ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Bondi man who has nipples the size of pikelets has told The Advocate that he had a red-hot go in life and that’s why he gets to live by the water – and those people from out in the “Western Suburbs” who are “having a sook” about not being allowed to go to the beach should do the same.

“Please don’t mention my nipples,” he said.

The Advocate spoke briefly to the flatmate of a former Betoota local who was essentially railroaded into moving to the nation’s sharps bin by his employer a few years ago.

The Bondi Man’s name is Mike or Mark and he does something with a computer each day in return for money.

Mark/Mike explained to our reporter that it’s not his problem that people in the developing parts of Sydney are uphappy that they can’t enjoy a dip.

It’s there own problem, he says.

“They live out there because they’re not having a go. I came off a small 940 hectare diary farm in the Northern Rivers and now I’m here. I’m here because this government rewards the entrepreneurial spirit. It rewards fiscal courage and it doesn’t like giving hand outs to people who sit on their arse all day!”

When asked by our reporter if he thought that most of Western Sydney was on some sort of government benefit, he said he did.

“Look, I’m not racist but,” he said before pausing.

“All I’m saying is that living near a beach is a privilege that you have to earn. I have earned it. So with them out west saying things like, ‘Oh there’s a double standard blah blah,’ yeah no fucking shit, mate. We don’t live under communism, we live under capitalism. Life isn’t fair and having a sook about it won’t change a thing.”

Our reporter then asked if his father or brothers have the same size nipples as him, to which the young man replied by terminating the interview.

More to come.


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