A new study has found that the only form of artistic expression that white people are able to part take in is yodeling, after countless attempts at appropriating visual and performance art forms belonging to people of colour.

The recent recent report by the Greens-backed research group TWOPOC (Tertiary-Educated White Opinions On Behalf Of People Of Colour) – the last only existing art form that can be traced directly to the the various ethnic groups originally inhabiting Aryan and Semitic regions of modern day Europe, is the Austro-Bavarian singing style of yodelling.

Yodeling (also jodeling) is a form of singing which involves repeated and rapid changes of pitch between the low-pitch chest register (or “chest voice”) and the high-pitch head register or falsetto. The English word yodel is derived from the German (and originally Austro-Bavarian) word jodeln, meaning “to utter the syllable jo” (pronounced “yo” in English). This vocal technique is used in many cultures worldwide.

Lead researcher, Professor Wyatt Gilt says while Eminem was lucky to get through the cracks, almost every white rapper since then has been profiting off a culture that they have no right to even listen to.

“Iggy Azalea was just appalling. Post Malone is the personification of a Xanax-fuelled post Trump cultural cringe”

“The same goes for rock music” he said.

“The Beatles were just Fats Domino in bowlcuts”

While the concept musical parody has been designated to people of Jewish-American background, and portrait painting to the Mexicans, Professor Gilt says white people are more than welcome to try their hands at yodeling and comedy panel shows.

“Slim Dusty used to yodel, so did Johnny Cash. It’s the only true trans-national art form enjoyed by men

“The Germans do claim it as their own, but they lost the right to having any national traditions after, you know”


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