In some exciting news from the United States of America, the nation’s military forces are licking their lips at the chances of finally chalking up a victory on the battlefront.

This comes as hordes of Donald Trump supporters prepare for another run at an insurrection this week.

After the storming of Capitol Hill last week which left 5 people dead and plenty around the country and world freaking the fuck out, there are grave concerns that more widespread violence in the form of an attempted uprising will unfold in the coming days.

That has lead to the nation’s highly financed military finally staring down the barrel of a war they actually can win.

“Finally,” said an excited General that’s spent his entire adult life keeping America’s war machine rolling on.

“It’s been a long time since we dropped those bombs on Japan, so it’s going to be great to have a successful military operation here on home soil against these fat American patriots.”

“I mean, it’s not guaranteed, given we couldn’t win against the tiny little island of Cuba, but we feel a whole lot better about our prospects against this overweight and self-trained local militia.”

“But, it’s going to be a whole lot easier to suppress these MAGA warriors than Viet Cong guerillas on their home soil.”

“Lord knows, we spend enough money on our military we should be able to beat these blokes in triple XL camo gear.”

“So fingers crossed.”

More to come.


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