27 December, 2016. 15:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Gilbert Tanner rides down Montague Road on his razor scooter most afternoons on his way to throw rocks at the CityCat, explaining that their wake is ruining the banks of the brown snake and the noise disturbs the fishes.

On a balmy afternoon in Brisbane’s West End, you’d most likely find him in one of Vulture Street’s many licensed establishments — though he never strays further east than the German Club.

However, for a man with such a large number of obvious character flaws, the 46-year-old enjoys an interesting life, with the reputation of being an utter pantsman following him wherever he goes.

“You see, everybody in Brisbane loves Powderfinger,” said the semi-retired Hutchinson Builders project manager.

“But most people only know Bernie [Fanning] and that they [The ‘Finger] put Vulture Street on the map. So for a number of years now, since my wife left me for a Kiwi vegan from the bay, I’ve been telling women that I played drums in Powderfinger. Fuck mate, I even bought a drum kit to really complete the image.”

Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, Tanner said that the last woman he was able to swoon with his silver tongue and loafers asked him to bang out a few tracks when they arrived home after a long night barhopping through Southbank.

Knowing that the first minute of Powderfinger’s seminal 2000 classic ‘My Happiness‘ is just a rather unsophisticated snare roll, he decided to belt that out and get that part of the night out of the way.

“They always buy it. Just as long as you can keep in time to their singing, they think it’s the real deal,” he said.

“But sometimes they Google the real drummer. We don’t look very similar, so I’ve paid an SEO firm to effectively make my picture come up if they look me up. Otherwise I just spill my drink on their phone at the bar. Both have worked in the past.”

More to come.


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