ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the nation’s favourite sons was detained earlier today after trying to take the field at the Gabba in an effort to show them how to win a Test match.

Shane Warne, of Melbourne, was reportedly prevented from taking the field shortly before tea on day five of the last Test Match in Brisbane.

After spending all day telling viewers at home and his commentary colleagues what the Australian team should be doing to win the game, Warne allegedly threw his headset – and charming flat cap – to the shithouse and demanded to be let on the field.

“Just throw me the ball,” yelled Warne.

“Hey Tim! Tim! Put me on! JL said it’s all sweet. I’m coming on for Garry!”

When stopped by police at the rope, Warne told the police he was going to win the game and if they wanted to stop him, they’d have to shoot him.

The police ultimately decided to simply hold Warne down on the ground for a little bit until he calmed down and led him down to the bowels of the Gabba so he could blow off a bit of steam.

The Advocate approached Mr Warne while he was talking to police but were promptly told to, “Fuck off,” by him and the junior constable pouring water into Shane’s mouth.

More to come.


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