EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

With fuel prices skyrocketing worldwide and with no sign of getting better anytime soon, some savvy aussies have had to resort to shady survival tactics in an effort to get by.

One Betoota Ponds local Ian Bloomfield, tells our reporter that he’d struggled to make ends meet while he was earning fuck all as an apprentice, citing that the $3 a litre had sent his already overstretched budget to the edge. Swapping cigarettes for rollies, and his usual meat pie and Breaka for homemade sandwiches, Ian was still barely scraping by until he came up with an ingenious idea – one he had when he was extremely high, of course.

This idea is said to have come to him while he was watching old reruns of ‘My Name Is Earl’ and letting one rip, and has so far saved him roughly $100 a week. He tells The Advocate how he did it, and offers some constructive money saving advice to fellow Aussie battlers.

“Yeah look, I wouldn’t ordinarily do shit like this but desperate times call for desperate measures”, he explains, “and I wouldn’t steal from someone who needs it, obviously.”

“But yeah, pretty sure one of the neighbour’s a bit of a rich cunt so I don’t feel that bad. He’s got a couple of beemers in the driveway, so I’m sure he’s not having a hard time.”

Showing our reporter a coil of petrol soaked hose, Ian says the trick is to do it late at night, and only siphon a bit at a time.

“I spread it out between the two cars, and just take out a quarter tank each every few days.”

“They’re none the wiser. “

More to come.


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