EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANECONTACT

Thirteen is a funny age, filled with confusion, angst, the sudden urge to eat everything, and access to all the family’s dirt – whether you want to know or not. Something of which newfound teen Henrietta Lockwood has found out the hard way.

It’s alleged Henrietta was minding her own business one afternoon at a family BBQ when her drunk aunt Jean thought it’d be the perfect time to offload all of her frustration about her husband onto the unassuming young lady.

This has now led to a chain reaction of family members each realising they have an impartial soundboard they can voice their frustrations to, instead of doing the right thing and seeing a therapist instead.

“You know your uncle is seeing someone”, whispers Jean, “remember your family friend Lisa, the one with the nails?”

“It’s been going on for MONTHS Henny. I have the receipts.”

“A woman always knows.”

Glancing up from her phone to offer a sympathetic grimace, Henrietta struggles to find the right words of consolation when their party of two is joined by his grandmother, who must have smelt the tea they were brewing.

“Are you talking about John again?”

“It’s perfectly normal Jean, they tend to get itchy feet but I doubt it’ll last.”

“Mind you, Richard left his wife of four years for me.” 

Staring at her grandmother in shock, Henrietta tries to process this salacious information as the two women gleefully continue to share gossip about every family member’s failing marriage.

“But if you think you’re having trouble, you should hear about what Michael went through with Claire.”

“Michael reckons she faked being pregnant hahaha”

“Always knew she had a few horses loose in the paddock, that one.”

More to come.

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