LOUIS BURKE Culture Contact

The ALP is dipping its toes into experiential marketing this week, teaming up with ice cream manufacturers Streets to create an Anthony Albanese inspired ice cream containing exactly zero flavour.

The ice cream titled the Albanese consists of flavourless ice cream in the shape of the opposition leader’s head.

“I wanted to put a red and green scarf on it, for my footy team,” stated Albo while taking a bite from his own flavourless head.

“That’s a Rabbitohs reference, I’ve been going for them since 1908. Not sure if I’ve mentioned that yet.” 

Other details about the Albanese flavour include its lukewarm temperature and ability to immediately melt when put in a room with coal lobbyists.

After Albanese made headlines earlier this week for not being woke, the Albanese Icecream is continuing the message that if elected Albanese will not be pandering to the left.

“It’s chockablock full of real dairy! Sorry soy boys!”

Within the ALP there are whispers that the Albo Cream will be the key to winning the upcoming election.

The ice cream has been called out as a stunt by the LNP with the Prime Minister going as far to suggest the ice cream is secretly red on the inside.

“Do you know what happens when you eat red ice cream?” asked Scotty.

“You end up pooing red and think you’re dying so you have to take the whole week of work while Jenny has to clean the mess in the bathroom!”


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