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AN INDEPENDENT study conducted by Spotify and the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS)  has revealed what Australia’s highest and lowest achieving students listen to – with interesting results.

The study was part of a national snapshot conducted by the ABS into the study habits of high-schoolers.

Bands with the most respondents are plotted on the graph, which outlines the median ATAR score of that particular band’s listeners.

The results of the study performed by the ABS and Spotify
The results of the study performed by the ABS and Spotify

ATAR results below 25.00 could not be accurately defined, according to the ABS.

“We’re not even sure if those students are literate,” says the conductor of the study.

“However, we’re sure Powderfinger fans are able to read in some capacity.”

Line honours for the 2013 dunce cap were seminal Southern NSW rock outfit Spiderbait, followed closely by new-kid-in-town Redfoo.

“I don’t know whether to be proud or upset,” says the LA rocker.

“Being the best student isn’t the most important thing in the world,”

“Just as long as you follow your heart, you’ll be fine.” says Redfoo.

The Australian Bureau Of Statistics was alarmed, however, with the emergence of The Cat Empire as being exclusively listened to by only the state’s most intelligent students.

“We certainly weren’t expecting that,” says ABS researcher Kerrin Blaxland.

“Although the likes of Mozart and Beethoven are usually the top of the list, The Cat Empire took us by surprise,”

Noticeable omissions to the list were bands like Nickleback, Guns N Roses and Pussycat Dolls.

“We didn’t want to skew the result any further,” says Ms Blaxland.

With all of the surprises and face slaps to both contemporary music and Australian kids, there is a silver lining to this study which shows the Australian youth are still very much behind the homegrown music scene.

“The kids are still listening to Australian bands by the look of it, it was a very Aussie-centric result.”

FBi Radio’s Claire Woodlow, says the station will feature the HSC Top 100 on November 7 – the last day of HSC exams.

“This is the only time we will EVER play Cold Chisel… those poor kids.” says Ms Woodlow.


  1. I am concerned that the ABS is publishing such skewed statistics. I’d say it is common knowledge that there is a higher percentage of students with lower ATARS. With that in mind id like to point out that more students would listen to artists like Kanye West rather than The Cat Empire. So if there are more students that listen to Kanye and more students with lower atars, the probability of one Kanye’s listeners having a lower ATAR is higher. I don’t know the exact numbers, but I don’t think enough students were surveyed to make this a fair scale. I also don’t agree with the statement “The Cat Empire as being exclusively listened to by only the state’s most intelligent students”. I don’t think id be very hard to find someone with a low ATAR who listens to them.

    • Every percentile of the ATAR range represents that same percentile of the cohort. I.e., an ATAR of 99.95 means the student is in the top 0.05 of a percentile of the state, and the 30-40 range represents exactly the same number of students as the 80-90 range. So the graph reflects the popularity of the music accurately.

  2. Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just
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  3. There’s no way this is legitimate. I have several reasons to believe that. First of all, the website is the ONLY instance of this article being published. If this was actually an independent study, this article and much much more in relation to the supposed study would be easily searchable on google. But it isn’t. In fact, let me google that for you: Interesting, only two results for a supposed ABS study, one which is just a forum post linking back to this article.
    Secondly, the graph itself is a very poor depiction of this kind of statistical analysis, where a Bell curve for each band would be much more meaningful, and so clearly wasn’t published with the help of the ABS.
    Lastly, and I think most importantly, every other article published on this site is absolute horseshit, which leads me to believe that this article is entirely satirical.

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