With the news that the Murdoch family have launched a joint takeover bid for Network Ten, details have been released about where the television station is where to sit within the media families extensive stable.

“We are thinking of providing Australian media consumers with an alternative to the dominant left-wing bias they are exposed to through the likes of Waleed Aly and Ray Hadley” said a spokesman for the family.

“Even Mark Latham is getting a bit too bleeding heart nowadays. We propose to set up a 24-live-stream of Miranda Devine condemning atheists and Muslims for their role in the crumbling of Christian values”

“Basically anything that comes into her head can be verbalised and put to air”

With Miranda Devine already a regular on the pages of the Newslimited powerhouse, The Daily Telegraph, Channel 10 will scrap all 300 reality television shows currently being broadcasted, as well as every panellist from The Project except for Steve Price.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) confirmed this morning that it has commenced a review of this proposed acquisition – but says it worries about what will happen to society if audiences are exposed to 12 hours of live Miranda Devine in the daytime, which would then be relayed in the night,

Content directors from Newslimited feel as though Australian audiences aren’t hearing enough of the other side of the argument against child abuse within the Catholic Church – and need to be made aware of the possibility of a Catholic witch hunt.

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, Miranda Devine says she hopes Yassmin doesn’t decide to leave Australia – as her day to day life would provide endless content and fierce debate.

She says the only problem with the new format is Waleed Aly won’t have a platform anymore – and therefore she won’t be able to criticise everything he says on air.

“If I replace Waleed, then I’m going to have trouble knowing what he said the night before, and inevitable condemning it”

“Hopefully someone else picks him up”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here