ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Someone set a bin on fire in Machattie Park last night in the French Quarter because society can go and get fucked, according a popular theory.

Police established a crime scene this morning and set about searching for clues.

A number of empty Schwarzkopf hairspray cans were found near the bin, suggesting that the culprit or culprits has expensive chroming taste.

In addition to the melted wheelie bin, a large rock was thrown into the duck pond. The scar in skin atop the algae-covered water is still visible.

Fire crews called to the blaze had rocks thrown at them and their vehicles.

Detective Sergeant Dexter Bradley said his team from the French Quarter Local Area Command are working on the theory that the perpetrators of this crime wanted to send a message to society.

“That melted wheelie bin is a monument to how society can go and get fudged,” he said.

“There’s a few leads were chasing at the moment but it’s safe to say we’ve narrowed down our list of suspects to a few hooded youths who police know to frequent the area,”

“If anyone has information on this random act of vandalism, people contact your local police station. We’d like to take this opportunity to remind residents that shooting and/or harming vandals in a vigilant manner is illegal and we will charge you with the appropriate offences should you feel the need to take the law into your own hands.”

Police are urging anybody with information to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or by sending information online via; which people can do so anonymously.

The public can call their local Police Station if they prefer.

In the case of an emergency dial triple zero 000.

More to come.


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