ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Despite everything in Dale Adam’s life going to shit recently, the 34-year-old has decided to make changes moving forward.

“I can’t control what happens in the future,” he told our reporter outside Rocketman’s Bar & Grill last night at 11:47 PM.

“But I can control my destiny. I can make changes in my life that will alter my destiny, you know?”

Our reporter nodded and pushed another handful of marshmallow-loaded fries into their mouth.

“Like this is the last 11:47 PM Philly Cheesesteak I’m ever going to eat. From Tomorrow – or February, my new life starts then.”

Mr Adam went onto outline just what had gone wrong in his life recently.

“The missus packed up and left, we’re getting divorced,” he said before forcing another inch of cheesesteak down his gullet.

“We don’t have kids so it’s pretty straight forward. We’re also pretty broke so it’s being done via mediation, which is for the best. Don’t know why she got jack of everything to be honest.”

Our reporter said maybe he should also promise to himself not to speak about his failed marriage to perfect strangers out the front of an American-themed food truck at midnight on a school night.

“Yeah well, I spose. Why do your chips have marshmallows on them? Mate, you’re fucked.”

More to come.


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