As Sydney and Brisbane continue through a lockdown, Sydney man Brian Dickson has proved the desperation is only just beginning to fester. 

With the NSW government confirming a fuck load more spicy cough cases every day, it means Dickson now has a lot more time to do his civic duty and replay a classic video game.

Unfortunately for Dickson, due to already being in lockdown for about six weeks, and being made redundant last year due to the pandemic, he has replayed all of his favourite video games already.

“The map on Red Dead 2 just seems so small now,” stated Dickson, who has put more work into recent video game achievements than he ever has in any of his past relationships.

“I could try unlocking all the custom outfits but that just feels like a waste of time. Plus I got the white buffalo one already and that’s clearly the best one.” 

However, during a trip to his garage where he has been capturing possums for fun, Dickson claims he discovered a lifeline in the form of his old Guitar Hero console. 

“Haha yes!” grinned Dickson, as he felt his arms completed by the plastic guitar controller.

“Through the fire and the flames we go!”

Guitar Hero is a rhythm based game series where players simulate playing the guitar riffs of classic and contemporary rock songs on a guitar shaped gaming console, just like Slash himself.

The series became a hit in dorm rooms and high school sleepovers everywhere, spanning a total of 25 titles and two spinoffs, before beginning a hiatus that is still going to this day.

However, for locked down people like Dickson, the simplicity of “jamming” along to an eclectic mix of rock and roll is just what he needs right now as he started up his old PS2 to simulate the closest thing he will get to live music in quite a while.

“Hey lockdown, you got another thing coming!”

At the time of writing, Dickson claims to have already shredded through the first game of the franchise, reliving the satisfaction of pretending to play guitar to the rock tunes that were burnt into his memory during high school and uni.

“Far out this is so fun! I should invite the boys around to pla…Aah, nevermind.” 


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