With Queensland reporting three new community transmissions yesterday, the state government have announced that masks have been made mandatory in greater Brisbane.

Queenslanders are also urged to be careful with their movements and to avoid crowds. While there have been no lockdowns or stay-at-home orders implemented just yet, residents have taken these social distancing restrictions as a warning – and are opting to limit their movements.

This means the bottle shops are getting rammed as residents across Queensland decide to make the most of this awful weather and get pissed at home.

In Betoota’s Old City District this arvo, local health experts says they are growing concerned about a couple active community cases that have been identified on a gorgeous timber balcony full of drunken footy lads.

The all-boys sharehouse on Daroo street is known to emergency services for the roaring backyard parties they hosted during the brief couple months over summer that loosened social distancing in the Sunshine State.

“Oi training got called off. Get up here and drink some tins with us Boof!” shouts local leaseholder, Banger Mackay (25).

“We got a couple active cases on the balcony”

Betoota health experts say they are concerned about the reports of active VB and Bundy pre-mixer cases moving freely within the household – with some fearing it may result a spread of individual cases across all residents, if someone’s misso can drive them to Thirsty Camel bottle shop.

Bangers says that he can’t guarantee social distancing will be adhered to in his household today, because Kev wants to play Kings Cup.

“Oi get some shot glasses. We are gonna do hour of power too” Banger yells to his housemate downstairs.

“Damo finally tapped in to his early Super savings so I guess you could say these are community cases ha ha ha”

“Oi you got any smokes”


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