ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local tax accountant delved deep into his own psyche last night after he found himself, for the first time, wondering how and why he suddenly cares about reality television.

Torn between the MasterChef finale and the season end of Ninja Warrior, Greg Cleary told The Advocate that the latter ultimately won his attention – but he can’t understand why.

“I’m wondering how my life got to the point where I feel personally cheated by a reality television programme,” said the 39-year-old.

“Maybe it was because I’d had two long necks, three servings of potato bake and couldn’t be fucked getting off the couch. Maybe it was because Ben Fordham is just so gotdam charismatic, I dunno,”

“All I can say is that I was emotionally invested in that television programme for a moment and the lack of a conclusive result has just ruined my whole week. I honestly don’t know why that is, but it’s heartbreaking.”

The father-of-two admitted that he doesn’t regularly watch television or honestly care about anything remotely related to it but his experience last night might’ve changed his opinion.

While he explained that he wasn’t about to get a subscription service, Cleary said that he was open to perhaps watching more television in the future.

“The only television I’ve seen in the past few years are kids shows like Pepper fucking Pig or Sponge Man Pants. I might’ve turned over a new page here.”

More to come.


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