Scientists have calculated that dried porridge has greater indentation strengths than diamond.

Currently, diamond is regarded to be the hardest known material in the world – however, dads across the country have for years claimed that leftover porridge carelessly left in a ceramic bowl is on par with wurtzite boron nitride and lonsdaleite.

Local Betoota dad, Bruce (52) says the only meal he knows how to cook is often the hardest to clean up.

“These kids, mate” he says.

“They just leave it there for the maid”

“The maid is me by the way”

Bruce says aside from steel wool and a gurney, dried porridge can only be removed by a pneumatic or electro-mechanical tool that combines a hammer directly with a chisel.

“You can’t even let this shit soak” he says.

“When the missus jumps in the shower, I’ll whip out the jackhammer”


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