ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

When you die, all of your money and assets are liquidated and your wealth redistributed back into the community.

It’s called a death tax and it’s aimed at levelling the playing field in life whereby the parents of wealthy people are forced to do something other than occupy space and come up with apps until their parents finally falls off the perch.

The topic of death taxes is back on the national agenda today as the state, territory and federal governments try to come up with ways of paying off this enormous debt the coronavirus has put on the nation’s young people.

It’s not a popular concept, espeically in our town’s more leafier enclaves.

John Clavelly and Marcia Collins say they bleed for everyone. They love Paul Keating and pretend it wasn’t his government that introduced offshore detention and processing to the Australian vernacular.

They have friends from all walks of life. From their friends with suspiciously good diction and lovely straight teeth to their friends who came up from the bottom.

They want everybody to have the highest possible healthcare and access to free, high-quality education.

“But I just don’t think a death tax is the best way to do it, we should be taxing facist companies like Rio Tinto that take our national resourses and sell them to China,” saild John.

“Like, just because my parents worked hard and amased all their wealth, doesn’t mean I should have to do that. Yeah sure, when my parents die, I’ll have enough to buy a nice terrace up in the French Quarter but that just means I get to live my life in service of other people. It’s not like I’m not giving back to the community,”

“I think people who support a death or inheritance tax are just bitter. Like you can’t change the past, so why get so angry? Like what am I supposed to do? Prostrate myself before the high altar of social justice and have some waterdrop twitter cunt judge me for my worth? Yeah, no worries mate, go get another poke tattoo on your face, you fucking idiot.”

Marcia backhanded him across the chest.

“I think what John is trying to say that we shouldn’t be punished for being born. Like, it’s not like we’re going to just lie on the couch and wait for our parents to die so we can buy sportscars and fly business class domestically, we’re going to give back,”

“And making us go through the same things that poor people go through won’t help anyone. Like, we have the chance to do something great with our lives, not just work in a factory and have 6 kids.”

They both looked at each other and nodded.

More to come.


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