During a year of continued uncertainty for New South Wales’ residents, state premier Gladys Berijiklian has promised things will soon be back to normal.

After failing to deliver on the flagship promise to hold HSC exams at the usual time, the premier has now looked to lock inconsistency in the primary education bracket. 

Yesterday, during her final cringe-comedy-classic 11 am update, the premier assured the state’s year 5 students that school captain elections will go ahead in November.

“While the HSC has been pushed back I want to assure all year 5 students eligible for school captaincy next year that your school elections will go ahead in November as promised,” said the premier who may or may not have been a school captain herself once.

“I cannot stress enough that all primary schools in NSW should start planning accordingly.”

While seen mostly as a symbolic position, school captaincy for many kids is their first taste of learning how clueless elected officials often are and how futile many gestures of changing the system from the inside ultimately are. 

The captaincy system has also been criticised by political pundits for filling children’s heads with the idea that leadership teams will always be split evenly by gender.

Although scientists speculate the world will keep spinning even if the projected 1,600+ school captain elections do not go ahead in November, the premier has stated they are definitely happening and have wished the Liberal candidates the best of luck.


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