LOUIS BURKE Culture Contact

Residents of the flood-affected NSW Northern Rivers have finally heard there might be some spending coming their way, as they woke up to discover their townships are now home to every Harvey Norman in Australia.

This comes a suspiciously short time after flood payments were announced by the federal government.

After claiming an estimated $22 million on JobKeeper in 2020-21, Gerry Harvey demonstrated the fairness of the Aussie battler by stating he’d rather not talk about whether that is fair or not, before generously paying back less than a third of the money that he should have never taken while his retail chain was still in profit.

Not to be left behind in 2022, Harvey made the agile decision to relocate all 193 Australian Harvey Norman stores to the flood ravaged Northern Rivers in order to claim some of that sweet government money that he has grown quite a taste for by now.

“I’ve been criticised for being too harsh on dole bludgers in the past but I get it now, there’s nothing quite like spending the government’s money!” stated Harvey, out the front of the flagship Auburn Harvey Norman store which now sits in Lismore.

“As a welcome to the area special, I am inviting flood-affected families to find a cheaper price on a stocked item so I can lobby the government to introduce laws to make sure this shit doesn’t happen again.”

“Ha! Lobby them with their own money! Classic!”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here