The Honourable Member for Grayndler has had a close call with the ungiegays this afternoon, after nearly getting pinched with a shank outside his Inner West Sydney electoral office.

Anthony Albanese MP, was quick to discreetly hand over his treasured switchblade to his media advisor, while talking with constituents on Marrickville road moments ago.

It is believed that the Opposition Leader briefly got caught up in the excitement of being home in the trap, after arriving back from a week in Queensland overnight.

Close friends say the former houso kid turned ALP heavyweight regularly struggles with living two lives between Canberra and his hometown – and often forgets to keep his ‘Canberra hat’ on when back in his hometown.

It is believed Albanese’s habit of regularly carrying a ex-Army Supplies switchblade is yet another throwback to his days as a street-level henchman for the iconic Sydney activist and golden glove boxer, the late Tommy Uren.

“Fuuuuuck” he whispered to his staffers after spotting a marked police car approaching his spot, all while attempting to maintain a cheerful smile in front of the old Greek ladies who were in tears as they told him he should be Prime Minister by now.

“Quick. Take this adlay” he said.

“Red hot. Red hot.”

In one quick movement, the Member for Grayndler was able to palm off his switchblade to one of his more street-smart employees.

“Go put in the secret compartment in the WRX. Under the steering wheel”

Police say they are not unfamiliar with hostility from the Parliamentarian and often experience dirty looks when they drive past his home office.



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