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Millions of women around the world are today ruefully tearing up their Prince Harry Girlfriend magazine posters, after the British royal officially announced his engagement to American actress, Meghan Markle.
The news came as a huge blow to women across the globe, many of whom had harboured hopes to become the one to snag the only good ginger person on the planet.
“I’m so devastated”, said Tammy Tillers, a 47 year-old mother of two. “I love ginger things – ginger beer, ginger nuts, even that ginger from the Spice Girls. The last piece of the puzzle was Harry”
“I was SO sure Harry and I would be together. I mean, we’re so perfect for each other!”, said Tillers, who has never left Noosa in her life.
Tillers was not alone in her anguish, with many women reportedly in shock that Prince Harry was no longer part of the dating pool.
“Honestly, it leaves us in pretty bad shape as an organisation”, said one of the co-founders of the Red And Nearly Ginger Association, or R.A.N.G.A
“Harry was very much a shining light in our quest to convince women across the world that we’re people too. Now that he’s off the market, we have to make do with Pauline Hanson”.
As the Bad Boy of the British Royal family pulls up stumps, it is now believed that English pop-singer Ed Sheeran will ascend from his long-held #2 spot, and now wear the title of World’s Hottest Single Ranga.
“His voice is beautiful” says Tillers.
“But once you go there, you are basically saying that Bill Burr and Conan O’Brien are doable as well”
