EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A doc martin enthusiast has today slammed all these fake bandwagon jumpers, after spotting at least ten pairs of shiny docs on her way to work this morning.

Ainsley Donahue [21] is alleged to have purchased her first pair of docs a year ago, using money she’d scrimped from her bartending job to buy some boots that would last longer than six months – which every person who works in hospitality can attest is a pretty hard find.

After suffering through a shit few weeks of breaking them in, Ainsley had been proud to finally join the exclusive Doc Marten wearer club, joining the ranks of metalheads, grunge lovers and queer people – or in her eyes, the cool kids.

But unfortunately this edgy new individualistic identity has now been ruined thanks to the rain, as weeks of torrential downpour have forced people to swap their footwear to something more water friendly – causing doc martens to enter the mainstream, as people realise how durable they are.

Despite this problem being quite small in the scheme of things, Ainsley is notably miffed by the new trend, stating that she ‘wore them first’ and that she expects people to discard the boots once the rain subsides. Though at this rate, it feels like it’s going to last forever.

“Honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if half these ‘doc wearers’ are sporting fakes”, spits Ainsley, “it’s so disingenuous, they don’t know the cultural history.”

“I imagine as soon as the sun comes back, they’ll go back to their normie footwear.”

“Jokes on them, guess who’ll be snapping them all up at Vinnies for a fraction of the price?”

More to come.


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