In breaking news from the Bureau of Meteorology, experts are warning of a severe chance of fcking good times in Deniliquin this weekend as the Riverina town puts on the annual Ute Muster.

An event that’s become somewhat of a religious pilgrimage for ute enthusiasts, concrete cowboys and anyone that’s not afraid of seasoning their lungs with some diesel soot, the muster is the world’s largest ute festival in the world.

Boasting a stacked program that features ferret racing, wood chopping, bull riding and of course the Australian National Circle Work Championships, the festival is set to attract over 20,000 punters who will be braving the heat in their widest bootcut denim and trucker caps.

Speaking to Bedourie station hand Travis Duncan (26), the journey south has been smooth this week, and he’s on track to marinating his liver with litres of dark spirits and a few Champion Ruby cigarettes.

“I’ve snuck two bricks of Black Rats in my spare tire, and I’ve welded another two cases of bourbon into my toolbox, that should cover me for day one” Travis told our reporter over a crackling phone line as he hooned his LandCruiser somewhere south of Broken Hill

“I’ll just need to whip out the angle grinder after I’ve set up camp, unleash the White Eggs and we’re bloody good to go!’

With country music legends Lee Kernaghan, James Johnston, Beccy Cole and Adam Harvey all taking to the main stage, Travis told our reporter this weekend was pretty much his version of Disneyland.

“Mate I’ve been waiting all year for this, this weekend is heaven for rum pigs like me!”

“I’ve got a lust for dust baby, you should come down next year and hear these V8 engines purrrrrr!”

More to come.


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