ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The people who live around one of the country’s great sewers have been criticised by their government this afternoon for not taking the threat of this savage influenza seriously.

Images of a packed Bondi Beach were met with mild apathy and wry cough-laughs around the country because once again, the cashed-up yuppie cunts that live there are proving to the country that rules don’t apply to them as to do to people who live in, as they feel, lesser places.

One of them, a 52-year-old, spoke too candidly to The Advocate today via telephone and he explained to this masthead that he’d rather be shop by the police than do exercise in his own house.

“Mate,” he prefaced.

“Bondi Beach is my backyard. I grew up here, mate. I’ve lived here for 20 years. I follow the rules set out by the government, so I don’t know what the problem is. Yeah sure, I go out unmasked and exercise around 50 other people exercising, too. In the epicentre of this pandemic,”

“Mate, when you make enough money, like enough to buy a nice flat or fuck, even a house around here, you can just do what you want. Rules are for people in Western Sydney. Where they shoot each other,”

“The cops will have to shoot me dead before I do sit ups in my own living room like some Melbourne person.”

More to come.


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