ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A South Betoota Technical College student, who was labelled ‘At-Risk’ by the institution just last week, has reached out to the de facto leader of his group assignment that was due at 9 this morning – in the hope that his name was somewhere on it.

Kevin Suttonford, a 24-year-old communications second-year, freely admitted to The Advocate just moments ago that he knew full-well that the project was due today, he just couldn’t find the time to do it.

“Well it all started when I didn’t do the first week readings, then the second week, then the seventh,” he confessed.

“From there, none of the syllabus made sense because I didn’t really know what was going on. Then I got put in a group away from the fellas with all these nerds who knew everything so I thought it was sorted,”

“Millie [Waterford] never got back to me about my name being on it. Fuck, I hope it was. The H.O.D. will throw the book at me if I fail this class. My name not being on this project is an automatic fail.”

Though he didn’t seem too concerned about it as he enjoyed a cigarette in the Betoota Hotel bistro, Suttonford wanted The Advocate to know that he did genuinely feel bad for not doing anything – which he feels is enough to justify his name being on it.

However, when our reporters reached out to Ms Waterford, she bluntly stated for the record that Kevin’s name was not on the group assessment she slid through the drop-off slot this morning.

“No. Kevin’s name was not on the project,” she said.

“How dumb are you? As if it would be. His laziness cost me any enjoyment I could’ve had last weekend and basically an all-nighter last night while I double checked everything. So no, his fucking name wasn’t on the project. Fuck Kevin.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here