After a brief hiatus spent reporting about yesterday’s same-sex marriage survey results, the Australia media cycle has returned to relaying news of Hollywood stars acting inappropriately and politicians who forgot to renounce their dual-citizen status before running for office.

As the same-sex marriage debate hit fever pitch yesterday morning, the nation’s new publishers were just as relieved as the greater public when it came time to starting writing about Harvey Weinstein and the High Court again.

“Oh, that was great yesterday, but we are exhausted” said one journo, who was forced to read through every single electorate results provided by the ABS and highlight obscure but ultimately uninteresting trends.

“Can’t we just go back to unveiling horrific allegations about people we previously loved, or our nation’s constitutional crisis related to their negligence prior to getting elected.

Australians as a whole, including the LGBTIQ community, say they too are really relieved to no longer be talking about gay marriage.

“Thank fuck” says local news consumer, Val.

“I mean, this survey has been filling the gaps on the slow news days for the last six months – but it really ramped up yesterday”

“It had me missing all of the morally depraved allegations coming out of Hollywood. Oh, and poor old Jacqui”


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