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“I’ve already phoned Tom Tilley and given him a piece of my mind. I said I’d break his other fucking leg if he got in my way. King of Louee, give me a brake. Mind the pun!” he said.

“But back to what you were saying, this was an unexpected opportunity and I think the ABC has finally done something right for once. Mind the pun!”

Caleb Bond, the controversial conservative boy-columnist for The Telegraph and Advertiser, is set to join Triple J later this month as part of their campaign to iron out their left-wing bias.

The new formatting, which was made mandatory under a federal government funding programme, has the goal of making the ABC more approachable to Australians from all walks of life – including those who have non-conforming opinions about refugees, immigrants and other minorities.

Adding Caleb Bond to the Ben & Liam Breakfast Show on Triple J is set to appease a number of media pundits who’ve labelled the public broadcaster as being left-wing.

“Downside is I have to move to Sydney,” said Caleb.

“But I’m going to be a good ambassador for the Free State of South Australia while I’m there. I’ve got a plan to get more Adelaide music on Triple J. It involves me threatening to poison Richard Kingsmill’s dog and using my friendship with Alan Jones to avoid prosecution should I have to.”

Bond also told The Advocate that until his finds appropriate accommodation in the Harbour Capital, he plans to sleep on Liam’s bedroom floor in Redfern – a place once described by Russell Crowe as ‘the Paris of Sydney’.

Our reporter spoke to Liam about his new billot, to which he didn’t know what we were talking about.

“There’s no fucking way he’s sleeping on my floor,” he said.

“I’d rather receive a swift punch to the throat every morning from Barry Hall than let that happen. Why can’t he live with [Lewis] Hobba? Or even Ben? Why me?”

“I don’t want to have to go to the pub with him. What if somebody sees us?”

The Advocate reached out to Triple J for comment on the matter but have yet to receive a reply.


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