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The Prime Minister’s Bloke Advisor has made up a few flashcards for the Bigfella-in-Chief today so he can learn all the player names before Sunday’s Origin game II.

Scott Morrison is still in quarantine this week, after a pointless little jaunt to the UK earlier this month to get photographed alongside Joe Biden and Boris Johnson at a world leaders summit he wasn’t invited to.

Never the less, in the privacy of the lodge this afternoon, the PM did his level-best to get his head around the ever-changing Blues and Maroons line up.

“Who’s this bloke?” the PM’s Bloke Advisor asked.

Scotty sat there looking at Freddy Fittler’s face.

“It’s not Andrew Jones, is it?” said the PM.

His Bloke Advisor shook his head and said it was someone like Andrew Johns, but not Andrew Jones.

“Is it Joey Johns?”

The Bloke Advisor shook his head again and took his finger off the man’s name under his face on the flashcard.

“Brad ‘Freddy’ Fittler?” asked the PM.

“The coach?”

“Who the hell is that? Why is this so hard? How can people like tow truck drivers and garbage men know who all these people are and I can’t even learn the coaches name?”

The Bloke Advisor explained that most people from Bronte don’t know who these people are and that they all kind of look the same.

He went to show the PM another card Of Blues winger Brian To’o but he wasn’t having it.

“Can we just start on cricket? I’m better at cricket than rugby league.”

With a small nod, the PM’s Bloke Advisor went over to the desk to get the cricket player flashcards.

On top of the deck was Sean Abbott, a New South Welsh all-rounder.

“Ah for fucks sake! Who the fuck is that?” snapped the PM.

“Can’t you start with an easy one like fucking Glenn McGraham or something? Throw me a fucking bone!”

More to come.


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