In some positive news for our health system and state governments, the media is reporting that a ‘well-known’ NRL player has been caught chonging in a nightclub toilet over the weekend.

There has never been a more telling sign that our public health experts have managed to eliminate all community spread of this horrible virus, as our rugby league players return to their pre-pandemic sexual adventures.

This very-mid-2000s off-field behaviour has reminded the greater public that there is a life of normality to be lived after the pandemic, as NRL players take full advantage of a life outside the quarantine bubble that rendered so many of them celibate in 2020.

Unfortunately, as exciting as the news is, it is still somewhat of a PR disaster for the NRL – as the Sydney Uni ‘Becky feminists’ clutch their pearls at the idea of ‘sportsball’ stars enjoying consensual sex on a night out with their hundreds of thousands of dollars that they get paid in exchange for entertaining the working class masses.

The NRL has gone through the motions of launching an investigation after a four-second video has made its way into the public domain. The footage appears to have been filmed over a door. It is unclear whether the footage was taken with the consent of the man and woman involved.

However what is clear is that neither subjects in the video are guilty of committing a crime due to the fact that they were going at it behind a locked cubicle door – and this story should not have even made the news in the first place.

The pervert filming the video, who appears to have gone on to share it online, appears to be the only potential criminal in this scenario – but of course it is not them at the centre of these sensationalist news stories.

That said, the news has been far better received than the average NRL sex scandal. This is due to the fact that both people in the video appear to be having so much fun – and that we now live in a post-pandemic society where this kind of fun can be had, as social distancing measures continue to roll back.

We did it everyone, we beat the virus.



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