CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The mounting allegations of sexual assault levelled towards high ranking Federal government staffers and ministers is set to not longer be an issue, as of 19:00pm this evening.

The same goes for this criticism the government is facing for the fact that Australia has had the slowest roll-out of vaccinations of any country in the developed world.

This will no longer get a mention in the Australian news cycle,

Or the fact that Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton personally slashed millions in grant funding from organisations that were strongly recommended by his department to improve community safety, and used the funds to support his own handpicked list that did not follow his department’s merit-based rankings.

In fact, the worrying news that nearly half of the Federal Cabinet are currently on some sort of public-accountability-related paid leave is no longer going to be discussed online or on the airwaves again this year.

These pressing political news stories will all vanish within the next couple hours, as the MIGHTY SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS take to the field at AAMI PARK to play THE MELBOURNE BLOODY STORM.

THAT’S RIGHT, FOOTY IS BACK!!!!

NRL Round 1 is underway tonight, as the Storm take to the field to play without their captain Cameron Smith for the first time in 17 years.

Can the Bunnies get one over the boys in purple, history would say no because they’ve never won in Melbourne – and the Storm haven’t lost a round one match in 18 years!!!!

BUT ALL THAT CAN CHANGE TONIGHT!!!! BECAUSE RUGBY LEAGUE IS A BEAUTIFUL, UNPREDICTABLE BEAST THAT WILL NOW CLOG OUR NEWSFEEDS AND TV AND RADIO FOR THE NEXT EIGHT GLORIOUS MONTHS.

Sorry journos, but your lame and boring stories about institutionalised misogyny and rampant political corruption will have to wait.

BECAUSE THE NRL STARTS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL!!!

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