The Brown Snake has already copped it ahead of the second ever NRL Magic Round this weekend.

With all eight games for round ten played at Suncorp Stadium over four days, the hashtag #PrayForBrisbane went viral overnight with social media users showing their solidarity with the River City residents ahead 300 neckless titans arriving to play footy, and then get rugby league drunk.

The Queensland government paid about $2.1 million per year for the privilege of hosting it in 2019 – but the damages to city infrastructure and the cheekbones of lippy pub patrons are expected to cost much more in the long run.

Now, after having to miss the 2020 Magic Round due to the NRL bubble, the boys are back in town for 2021.

And it seems like they’ve already left their mark on The Balley.

With over 98 assaults recorded in Fortitude Valley last night, and 16 seperate Instagram influencers impregnated and left to raise bastard children on their own – Brisbane residents have rushed to NRL-proof the city streets in an effort to prevent any more damage to their city.

Community centres around the city are providing water supplies and sandbags for anyone willing to help.

“We’ve got two more nights of this shit!” said QLD Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk.

“Idle hands won’t achieve anything. If you are fit, willing and able. Please get down to the Valley and outside the Casino to help protect our beautiful city”

“To the young women who end up being seduced by these young men, please consider protection”

“To the young men who find themselves drinking in the same pub as the visiting NRL stars. Please don’t talk any shit”

“Keep your eyes to yourself and we will get through this together!!”


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