BEAU RIVERS | Local News | Contact
Cleaning out his overpriced and undersized Kogarah apartment, local man Jack Derrin (27), has today taken the first steps towards a life of productive minimalism.
Minimalism is a trend whereby participants discard their unused possessions, in order to make room for things that truly matter.
Taking cues from cleaning expert Marie Kondo, Jack held each of his possessions for a minute and asked if it truly brought him joy – discarding the item if it didn’t.
“I sure wish these fucking things had bought me some more joy aye..” he muttered under his breath as he discarded a handful of expired condoms he had kept since he first moved out of home.”
While no incel, Jack hadn’t exactly been in the best form in recent times.
The last time he managed a trip home with someone he vomited in the Uber.
As is the rule of Murphy’s Law, Jack is expecting a lady to fling herself at him on the first night he goes out since beginning his minimalism journey.