ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A law student at East Betoota Polytechincal has lashed out at suggestion and rumour that he’s been taking moot court too seriously, The Advocate can reveal.

Michael Bonham-Page, son of local barrister and convicted drink driver Winston Bonham-Page SC, is in his sixth year of Bachelor of Laws study at the private university and is currently taking part in a compulsory mooting module this semester.

However, many of his peers have sniggered and laughed behind his back during the mooting itself – where they say the 26-year-old is ‘taking it a bit too seriously.’

“He shouted, ‘My Lordship! Objection!’ when he didn’t understand the question the judge asked him,” said one fellow student.

“One time he even wore a tie to moot court. What a fucking try hard!”

“Michael doesn’t even need to try in law school. He’s whiter than John Candy’s arse cheek was a week after he died, more Protestant than old seven-wife John Singleton and better connected to the wider Betoota legal fraternity than the local cocaine merchant!”

“I mean, just chill out, mate. You’ll be fine. Spare a thought for the rest of us who have to earn it.” said the student.

But Michael says he feels hard done by, telling The Advocate that his classmates don’t understand the type of pressure he’s under at moot court – because all the judges are his father’s friends.

Explaining that his performance is often parroted back to his Dad at the golf club of a weekend, the reformed pothead said there’s nothing lame about caring.

“I’m just trying to do my best,” he said.

“But yeah, I’m pretty fucking slow to be honest with you. All I wanted to do after school was smoke cones and eat potato gems. But now my dreams are over because I’m nearing the end of law school,”

“Which means I might actually have to practice law soon.”

More to come.


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