Timid local man, Dave Edmund’s insecurities were on show for all yesterday afternoon, when he opted against joining a couple of complete strangers at the urinal of the Lord Kidman hotel is South Betoota.

The 19-year-old data entry expert was seen walking into the men’s bathrooms for a piss, only two be confronted by two other blokes standing on the steel grate at the urinal.

With both men looking at him, Dave briefly hesitated with the idea of finding a spot between the two of them, before ultimately deciding to use one of the empty cubicles.

Even though Dave left the door open, his actions have been widely condemned by the regulars.

“It was very disappointing. I don’t know what it is with these young fellas” said one of the blokes at the trough, a 65-year-old postie named Reg, who was left feeling snubbed by Dave.

“Don’t know if I can trust any of ’em”

After returning to a table of his mates, Dave’s lack of bathroom etiquette was briefly forgotten, until the publican was made aware of his behaviour by some of the regulars.

“Mate, that’s not how we do things around here” roared the pub-owner, Bruce Brachetta.

“The toilet is for shitting, or other equally hard to talk about bodily functions. Stand-up-pissing is completely unacceptable”

“This is your last warning boys”

“Try that shit on again and you can drink down the road at the Botox447 wine bar!”


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