EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Local woman Melissa Shearston has a raging cockroach infestation but it’s honestly not her fault.

Which she wants to clarify by stating it not once, but three times.

It’s alleged the notable clean freak had invited a few friends over for a dinner Thursday night as it was her turn to host, which was part of an ongoing agreement between her friendship circle where everyone would take turns hosting dinner. This has both been a nice way to catch up with mates and an enlightening view into people’s personalities, such as discovering Tommy is incredibly lazy, considering he just reheated up some old taco mince.

Melissa is reported to have felt a little nervous about hosting, as she was neck deep into a cockroach infestation that no amount of mortein would fix – including those flying fuckers that love nothing more than landing on you as soon as you notice them.

After cleaning up yet another pile of cockroach shit, Melissa had hoped the voices of people and harsh fluorescent light would scare the cockies away – however, it unfortunately seemed to have the opposite effect.

“Hahaha omg so sorry, I swear I’m super clean I just don’t know where they’re coming from!” says Melissa, as a cockroach the size of a fucking shoe is seen running across the kitchen floor, “they must be coming up from the drain.”

It’s alleged after a few more cockies ran across the floor, her guests were seen reluctantly forking through their spag bol and looking a little jumpy.

More to come.


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