17 March, 2015. 15:01
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
FLOWERS AND TRIBUTES are being left near the entrance of the New Zealand High Commission in London today as thousands of mourners stop to remember the death of British manners in Auckland this week.
British-born entertainers Natalia Kills and Willy Moon have been criticised internationally for their “profoundly un-British” behaviour that has embarrassed the entire nation.
Until a few days ago, there’s every chance that you didn’t know who Natalia Kills and Willy Moon were, nor that they happened to be judges on the New Zealand version of X Factor.
The New Zealand High Commission in London is being inundated with floral tributes to British manners, which died this week in Auckland. SOURCE: Google Maps.
What they said to one 25-year-old Invercargill man, Joe Irvine, has rocked the world – as it’s irrelevant venom and classless vitriol has shaken the British people to their very core.
Kills and Moon were, until very recently, a husband and wife judging team on New Zealand’s X Factor. Then they were sacked for bullying a contestant. On the evening of 15 March – after a relatively unmemorable performance – Kills piled in on the dress sense of contestant Joe Irvine, accusing him of copying her husband’s look and calling him “creepy” and “disgusting” in the process. Then Moon added his own thoughts, which were – genuinely – “I feel like you’re going to stitch someone’s skin to your face and then kill everybody in the audience.”
British prime minister, David Cameron, has observed a day of mourning and has urged people to visit the memorial near St. James Square and to pay tribute to British manners, which is now lying-in-state at Westminster Abby.
Not since the state funeral of warhorse prime minister Winston Churchill in 1965, has a nation been so unified in their grief.
Thousands of everyday British people have felt obligated to apologise for Kills and Moon to the people of New Zealand, who are as pleasant and kind as the British consider themselves to be.
“What those two nobodies fail to understand is that they’ve damaged the perception of British people abroad,” said one mourner.
“They’ve embarrassed the British people as a whole,”
“We don’t want them to come back here. Hopefully Australia will have them next,”
“They deserve to go there, because Aussies tend to ‘smack people about the head’ who are deliberately mean – it’s in their convict blood.”