A recent report by Jakey’s greater social circle has found that he might be on here, so don’t do anything that makes him look stupid.

This includes shit-talk, or unnecessary floating around near him. However, the most important thing to do is not act like you know he’s on the tune.

The 25-year-old painting supplies specialist hasn’t had a good trot with the ladies ever since his break up with the ex about 18 months ago, and it appears the young girl currently talking to him at the bar is a bit of a fan – so don’t fuck this up for him you dog.

Jakey, has recently become what some would describe as tempincel (temporarily involuntarily celibate) – and it’s not something he blames anyone for but himself. After a long-term relationship and heartbreaking seperation, the young fella has completely forgotten how to talk to women in a way that makes them look at him as more than a friendly robot at the bar.

This all changed about twenty minutes ago, when the South Betoota resident sparked up a bit of chit chat with a similarly single female at his local pub after work.

After clutching his way through a conversation about how annoying it is to have to break a note and carry coins, Jakey has somehow managed to make his beige but high paying administration role at a construction supplies company sound remotely interesting.

With a lot of over-laughing from both sides and some red-hot body language, Jakey appears to be impressing his new friend.

So fuck off and shut the fuck up and stay at the other end of the pub until he ruins this himself.


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