CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the new year well underway, the pressures of the holiday season have not yet simmered.
Those who are lucky enough to do so are now back at work, and the bank balance has taken a hit with all of the festivities of the silly season.
To make matters worse, the only sporting product to grace our TVs is the NBL and Big Bash – as Australia enters that weird window between the test cricket and the Indigenous All Stars match.
With the current public health measures in place for big crowds, the opportunities to sit down for a live band is also limited.
With most of life’s stresses currently being highlighted, and the good times on hold until everyone has a proper grip on the year ahead of us – Australians are likely experiencing a bit of household crankiness.
At this time of the year, more than ever, Australians can expect that their dads, grandfathers, uncles, neighbours, cab drivers, mechanics and bosses are going to be a bit snappy.
However, while January-related foul moods outside of the immediate family are near impossible to suppress – experts say there are methods for dealing with your old man when he gets a bit narky.
Local dad-whisperer, Professor Nigella Trioli from Betoota’s University for Western Queensland spoke says the first step is space.
“The most important thing to do is get out of his face”
“Whether you still live at home like a bludger, or are just visiting for a free feed and a bit of laundry… or you are dropping by to offload his screaming grandkids”
“It is worth leaving the old boy alone”
Professor Trioli says on top of pissing off, another tactic is to show some sort of vague consideration to the fact that he might be in a foul mood.
“It is the duty of everyone in the house to help a stroppy patriarch go to his happy place.”
“Playing gentle Bruce Springsteen ballads throughout the surround sound has been known to woo up the old boy” she says.
“Surprising him with an ice mid-strength beer and some prawns may also be a fix”
“But if you want the job done well… Go and buy him five Phantom magazines at the newsagent”
Trioli’s research finds that every Australian male born before 1970 can be calmed down by a bit of alone time with The Ghost Who Walks.
“If they are out of new magazines at the shop, then just hand one his old ones to him upside down”
“Once you’ve done this, the most important thing you can do… and I cannot stress this enough… is piss off”
MORE TO COME.
