19 October, 2015. 10:50
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact
It is believed that the entire 6.8 million people that reside in Great Britain now regret that their Colonial ancestors invented the game of Rugby over 150 years ago.
The office for Buckingham Palace has today sent out an official statement on behalf of the Royal Family,
“Both her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the greater Royal family wish to inform the colonial backwaters of New Zealand, Australia, Argentina and South Africa – that we now regret inventing the game of Rugby,” read the letter.
“Not only do we regret inventing the game, but we also regret forcing it upon the lowly Indigenous nations of which we decided to invade,”
“We could have never imagined that the Pacific Islanders, Australian Aboriginals, South African Natives and the ex-patriated British underclass of convicts and paupers – would one day return to England to embarrass us like this,”
“Not since England was knocked out of the Cricket World Cup by Bangladesh have we been this embarrassed,
The Royal Family will now focus their attention on Polo. A game that is yet to be hijacked by the unruly colonial settlements.”
It is believed the Royal Families’ sentiment is one that is shared by majority of all Welsh, Scottish, English and Irish residents after a series of embarrassing performances were put forward by the Northern Hemisphere in this year’s 2015 Rugby World Cup, which is currently being hosted in England.
A statement from the French suggests they are just happier to have lasted longer than England
Wales were the only Northern nation that looked capable of overcoming a Southern Hemisphere wipeout, with their 15-6 defeat by the Wallabies and 23-19 reverse against South Africa on Saturday .It started when England lost 33-13 against Australia, then Scotland went down 34-16 against South Africa.
In the quarter-finals, New Zealand outplayed and outclassed France, finishing 62-13, while Argentina put on an absolute clinic against Ireland 43-20.
The Scottish were the last of the six-nations that looked like they might be able to make a semi-final, but after a 35-34 Wallabies defeat several hours ago, it is now very much a Southern Hemisphere game.
While the Brits have declared they will now be focusing on non-contact “gentlemanly” sports such as Polo and Soccer, Argentina have announced that they are more than willing to stick around to school them in those games as well.