As the Prime Minister edges closer each day to buckling under the pressures of leading a government made up of corrupt rapists, staunch supporters of lower taxes for upper-middle class property investors are coming out of the woodwork to defend him.

With the roll-out of the vaccine hardly making a dent on a news cycle that is awash with breaking news stories surrounding the misuse of tax-payer dollars and the rampant culture of misogyny in Parliament House.

Some of the Prime Minister’s closest Cabinet Ministers and Ministerial staffers are at the centre of a growing list of sexual assault and rape allegations – on top of the revelations that the staunch Liberal Party donor Gerry Harvey has been caught out using JobKeeper to pay his staff for the full twelve months of Harvey Norman’s most profitable year since the invention of the internet.

This unflattering news cycle has proven too much for some of the Government’s die-hard supporters, most of whom are wealth hoarding baby boomers who vote purely on maintaining the status quo of tax loopholes that boost their retirement nest eggs.

The never-ended stream of news headlines criticising the incompetence of the Federal Government have simply been dismissed as a “leftie media agenda” – despite that fact that even Murdoch’s reporters are now taking aim at Morrison.

One extremely vocal Quiet Australian, Frank Rogerson (71, Cronulla Beach) says it’s time all of these snowflakes just shut their politically correct mouths and leave our Prime Minister alone.

“Christ, this bloke can’t do anything right in the eyes of these lefties” says Frank, who will die of abusive neglect in a government funded aged care home, fifteen years from now.

“Everyone is acting like he’s killed someone”

The Royal Commission into Aged Care Quality and Safety has spent more than two years investigating allegations of widespread neglect and abuse in the nation’s aged care sector, today the findings have been released.

Morrison is currently trying his best to bring on the waterworks during a solemn press conference about the report, which he has not yet released to the media, who he gave 30 minutes warning before announcing today’s media outing.

“Everyone just loves bashing him” says the semi-retired white goods retailer, who will be viciously assaulted over the next two decades by underpaid and unqualified aged care workers, in an overcrowded Sutherland institution for inconveniently old people.

“Give him a break!”


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