Eddie McGuire has today hosted yet another press conference to continue digging the hole he found himself in yesterday.

As CEO of Collingwood Magpies FC, McGuire fronted the media on Monday after a damning report into the “systematic racism” at his embattled AFL club was made public.

The game show host’s opening remarks immediately came under fire after he claimed it was a “proud day” for the Magpies, despite all of findings in the report pointed to the fact that they have nothing to be proud of.

Things didn’t get any better throughout yesterday’s public address – one that was aimed at repositioning his club as an institution that deals with its cultural problems – with McGuire going as far off the deep end as saying that the magpies had plenty of ‘Asians coming through the netball ranks’

It was a binfire of poorly mapped out political spin that shocked a number of former greats, but today, Eddie has doubled down in his insistence that his club should not be remembered for the fact that his club, fans and players have a habit of racially vilifying black people.

Today, McGuire has done his best to continue sweeping all of the ‘chimp calling’ and bullying under the rug, by giving the media a run down on several types of immigrant cuisine that he holds close to his heart.

“Alright, you lot think we aren’t big supporters of the multicultural experiment… Let me show you ha ha” said McGuire, while gesturing to a table full of ethnic cooking.

“This is my favourite wog food”

“Starting with the Turkish Delight. No guesses where this originates from ha!”

“That’s right, I got it from Jim’s Greek Tavern in Johnston street”

“Which one of you media grubs was it that said Collingwood doesn’t like black people…? Would a club that hates black people so proudly frequent Greek Restaurants? I think not”

“Look at this GREEK salad!”

McGuire went on to showing off some of the “more Mussie type of wog food” – including the rotating sack of doner meat.

“Tell ya what, for a race who doesn’t like the grog, these towelheads do a bloody good job at curing a hangover”

McGuire then wrapped up the press conference with a hacking cough, after taking a hit from the apple flavoured Shisha pipe.

“Haha (coughs)”

“Now all we need is some of that bloody bubble tea that I see all the blackbelts sucking on!”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here